Let the good times roll
Had an extraordinary conversation the other day.
Was in my local Bon Ton, buying shirts. The girl who served me was very short, well under 5′, but very shapely. I’d stood next to her at Taco Bell earlier, thinking she was a schoolkid with great breasts. Well, she did have good breasts but wasn’t a schoolkid.
The conversation went like this:
Her: “You’re not from round here.”
Me: “No, I guess the accent gives it away.”
“I love the way you English pronounce things and how you use different words, like cigarette is ‘fag’. Over here, we use that for ‘gay’.”
“Yes, we do too.”
“We went to a pub the other night and an English guy said my boyfriend is a wanker… He is.”
Pause. I’m wondering if she knows what wanking is. I don’t ask. I regret this.
Me: “Yes, a good word to use is ‘fanny’. Here it means ‘backside’, in the UK it’s your front.”
Pause.
Her: “Oh, you mean ‘cunt’? Oh yes, ‘Want to see my fanny?’ means ‘Want to see my cunt?’.”
Me: “Yes,” I think meaning, yes, I do want to see it.
So she thanks me and gives me my bag and wishes me a lovely day.
You don’t get that at Marks and Spencer!
